DDIY Episode 14 - University of Phoenix Airlines

 This episode is brought to you by University of Phoenix Airlines and T-Pain’s omeletator

DIRECT DOWNLOAD

This week we give instructions that are usable for everyone. From how to date a hobo (here’s a hint: treat all of her ‘personal space’ as her ‘stabbing zone’) to how to twerk yourself dry after a shower. After that, your led on a nightmarish, haunting journey as Count Demonnance, Queelor, Queen Danceatron and Rasputin Vanderdouche discuss how to start your own Wiccan coven. The result of their witchery is less impressive than the male anatomy in Zero G.

Note: Like every one of our episodes, you should watch The Craft before listening to this.

WikiHows:

How to Make Your Family Think You are in a Relationship

http://www.wikihow.com/Make-Your-Family-Think-You-Are-In-A-Relationship

How to Dry Yourself After a Shower

http://www.wikihow.com/Dry-Yourself-After-a-Shower

How to Start a Wiccan Coven

http://www.wikihow.com/Start-a-Wiccan-Coven

Movie Game:  Gangs of Black Hawks Down in New York

Stitcher Link?: Gotcha

iTunes Link?  Yep

Need Our RSS feed? Here it is. Use it to create a giant pentagram around the world to stop the cyber demons.

DDIY Episode 13 - Chris Matthews is not Chris Hansen

Look, I'm not going to lie to you. This one is dirty. We don't normally don't make this many dick jokes, or talk about where condoms go when they die, or make up drinks from a bartender bible called "Play with your Cocktail", or come up with horrifying scenarios where Chris Hansen gives away his progeny to catch a predator. Or Chris Matthews. Promise. But in between that we tell you how to be the rebel at your school, how to make the dream friend you've always wanted, and what to do when you lose your child in the woods. I'll give you a hint: it involves Chris Hansen. But we call him Chris Matthews.  

DIRECT DOWNLOAD

WikiHows:

How to Be Known As a Rebel in Your School

http://www.wikihow.com/Be-Known-As-a-Rebel-in-Your-School

How to Make a Dream Best Friend

http://www.wikihow.com/Make-a-Dream-Best-Friend

How to React if Your Child is Lost in the Woods

http://www.wikihow.com/React-if-Your-Child-Is-Lost-in-the-Woods

Movie Game:  300 Clerks

Stitcher Link?: Gotcha

iTunes Link?  Yep

Need Our RSS feed? Here it is. Hack the planet. 

DDIY Episode 12 - Locally Foraged Cats

Gather around, children, for our most storied episode. If you were ever curious about how Mike feels about clowns, or how Zac feels about dipping sauces in goth clubs, or how dumb Clay was when he was 13, then this is the one for you. We try to get our friends to dress like us by releasing moths in their home, we turn to hipsters to see how to live without a computer, and finally we try to tackle our clown and mime fears. Also, we talk about John Claude Van Damme a lot. 

DIRECT LINK

WikiHows:

How to Make Your Best Friend Look Like You

http://www.wikihow.com/Make-Your-Best-Friend-Look-Like-You

How to Live Without a Computer

http://www.wikihow.com/Live-Without-a-Computer

How to Overcome Your Fear of Clowns

http://www.wikihow.com/Overcome-Your-Fear-of-Clowns

Movie Game:  The Man in the Iron Man Mask

Stitcher Link?: Gotcha

iTunes Link?  Yep

Need Our RSS feed? Here it is. Our social security numbers are also available upon request. 

DDIY Episode 11 - ¿Cómo se dice 'Mountain Closet'?

Hola oyentes y bienvenidos a hacerlo no lo hace usted mismo! ¿Cómo se dice armario montaña? Oh, I'm sorry! I Meant: Hello listeners and welcome to Don't Do It Yourself! This week Zac forgets words and is relentlessly made fun of. We cover some sweet topics like making the coolest band name ever, like... Mountain Closet, or "CLAY AND MIKE ARE DUMB". Then we forge forward into how to use aluminum foil and how to foil your plans to be a forever-cosplayer. So come on.. Don't Do It Yourself!

-Zac

DIRECT LINK 

WikHows:

How to Quit Cosplay

http://www.wikihow.com/Quit-Cosplay

How to Find an Interesting Name for Your Band

http://www.wikihow.com/Find-an-Interesting-Name-for-Your-Band

How to Use Aluminum Foil

http://www.wikihow.com/Use-Aluminum-Foil

Movie Game: Skipped this week!

Stitcher Link?: Gotcha

iTunes Link?  Yep

Need Our RSS feed? Here it is. Our social security numbers are also available upon request. 

DDIY Episode 10 - Raccoon Guardian Angel

Tired of bullies saying you hug too much and make them uncomfortable? Running from robot gimps from the future? Have no fear, listener, because we have options for you to protect yourself in this cold, dark world. Maybe you could enroll in our martial arts school Don’t Dojo Yourself and learn the ancient art of Shock and Caw? If that’s too violent don’t worry, because a little furry Morpheus has got your back in all of life’s problems when we talk about how to be the best guardian angel. It’s going to be like City of Angels without the car crash, with you as Meg Ryan and Nicolas Cage as a raccoon. After that we’ll discuss the masochist apocalypse and then embrace you with open arms and never, ever let go. So come a little closer and Don’t Do It Yourself (ever again)!

DIRECT LINK

Wikihows:

How to Create Your Own Martial Arts Form

http://www.wikihow.com/Create-Your-Own-Martial-Arts-Form

How to Be Someone’s Guardian Angel

http://www.wikihow.com/Be-Someone's-Guardian-Angel

How to Keep Your Friends Hugging

http://www.wikihow.com/Keep-Your-Friends-Hugging

Movie Game: Terminatrix

Stitcher Link?: Gotcha

iTunes Link?  Yep

Need Our RSS feed? Here it is. Our social security numbers are also available upon request. 

DDIY Episode 9 - Dave Navarro Muscle Mech

Hello and welcome to Don't Do It Yourself where we love you and think you are beautiful. No wait! Forget what we just said! Shit, well, on this weeks episode we try to not say I love you and we fail miserably. But pushing forward we give some actual advice on hitting on women in public and we love you. Goddamnit! We are bad at this. So come on, Don't Do It Yourself. (and we love you.)

Here, we made you this portrait out of kisses.

Direct Download: Here, Bud

WikiHows:

#1 How to Avoid Saying I Love You

http://www.wikihow.com/Avoid-Saying-I-Love-You

#2 How to Meet a Nice Girl in a Bistro

http://www.wikihow.com/Meet-a-Nice-Girl-in-a-Bistro

#3 How to Bounce Back from a Bad First Impression

http://www.wikihow.com/Bounce-Back-from-a-Bad-First-Impression

Movie Game:

Deep Impact Lincoln

Stitcher Link?: Gotcha

iTunes Link?  Yep

Need Our RSS feed? Here it is. Our social security numbers are also available upon request. 

DDIY Episode 8 - IAMS Prego

Hello listeners, join us this week as we tackle some tricky topics! If you've ever wondered how to pay attention to boring things or people (or how to weird them out so you don't have to) then you have the right episode. With that helpful information out of the way we move on to an updated, yet messier version of the UFC. If you make it to the end then the this weeks image will make much more sense (Tim, if you see this, we need to talk...), so come on friend, don't do it yourself!

WikiHows:

#1 How to pay attention to boring people or topics.

http://www.wikihow.com/Pay-Attention-to-Boring-People-or-Topics

#2 How to respond to a verbal attack

http://www.wikihow.com/Respond-to-a-Verbal-Attack

#3 How to announce pregnancy to a one night stand

http://www.wikihow.com/Announce-Pregnancy-to-a-One-Night-Stand

Movie Game:

Fear and Loathing and Transformers in Las Vegas

Direct Download:

Here, Bud

Stitcher Link?: Gotcha

iTunes Link?  Yep

Need Our RSS feed? Here it is. Our social security numbers are also available upon request.