Tired of bullies saying you hug too much and make them uncomfortable? Running from robot gimps from the future? Have no fear, listener, because we have options for you to protect yourself in this cold, dark world. Maybe you could enroll in our martial arts school Don’t Dojo Yourself and learn the ancient art of Shock and Caw? If that’s too violent don’t worry, because a little furry Morpheus has got your back in all of life’s problems when we talk about how to be the best guardian angel. It’s going to be like City of Angels without the car crash, with you as Meg Ryan and Nicolas Cage as a raccoon. After that we’ll discuss the masochist apocalypse and then embrace you with open arms and never, ever let go. So come a little closer and Don’t Do It Yourself (ever again)!
Wikihows:
How to Create Your Own Martial Arts Form
How to Be Someone’s Guardian Angel
How to Keep Your Friends Hugging
Movie Game: Terminatrix
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