DDIY 15 (w/ Ben Thompson) - You’re the Thoreau to my Emerson, bitch.

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Today we are joined by guest Ben Thompson of Badassoftheweek.com as we tackle the most badass of Wikihows.  Mike gets disappointed when he finds out what sabering is so we try to come up with other ways to combine swords and champagne. Then we discuss how to escape an old style POW camp in case you find yourself caught by rogue reenactors and the result is the worst thing you could possibly imagine. On top of that we figure out how to win a losing battle, battle a giant crab-handed monster in our movie game, and answer a few questions from Twitter, the results of which involve Buzz Aldrin, having your children raised by wolves, and Scottish anatomy. Strap in, and Don’t Do It Yourself.

WikiHows:

How to Open a Champagne Bottle with a Sword

http://www.wikihow.com/Open-a-Champagne-Bottle-with-a-Sword

How to Escape from an Old Style POW Camp

http://www.wikihow.com/Escape-from-an-Old-Style-POW-Camp

How to Win a Losing Battle

http://www.wikihow.com/Win-a-Losing-Battle

Suggested How-tos:

@WrasslinConnor - How to properly skip like a badass

@WrasslinConnor - How to sew a kilt together

@TheRosskonian - How do you raise your kids to be badass in our world of instant gratification?

Got a suggested how-to? Send it our way!

Movie Game:  Edward BigFishHands

Stitcher Link?: Gotcha

iTunes Link?  Yep

Need Our RSS feed? Here it is. Use it to create a giant pentagram around the world to stop the cyber demons.

DDIY Episode 14 - University of Phoenix Airlines

 This episode is brought to you by University of Phoenix Airlines and T-Pain’s omeletator

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This week we give instructions that are usable for everyone. From how to date a hobo (here’s a hint: treat all of her ‘personal space’ as her ‘stabbing zone’) to how to twerk yourself dry after a shower. After that, your led on a nightmarish, haunting journey as Count Demonnance, Queelor, Queen Danceatron and Rasputin Vanderdouche discuss how to start your own Wiccan coven. The result of their witchery is less impressive than the male anatomy in Zero G.

Note: Like every one of our episodes, you should watch The Craft before listening to this.

WikiHows:

How to Make Your Family Think You are in a Relationship

http://www.wikihow.com/Make-Your-Family-Think-You-Are-In-A-Relationship

How to Dry Yourself After a Shower

http://www.wikihow.com/Dry-Yourself-After-a-Shower

How to Start a Wiccan Coven

http://www.wikihow.com/Start-a-Wiccan-Coven

Movie Game:  Gangs of Black Hawks Down in New York

Stitcher Link?: Gotcha

iTunes Link?  Yep

Need Our RSS feed? Here it is. Use it to create a giant pentagram around the world to stop the cyber demons.

DDIY Episode 13 - Chris Matthews is not Chris Hansen

Look, I'm not going to lie to you. This one is dirty. We don't normally don't make this many dick jokes, or talk about where condoms go when they die, or make up drinks from a bartender bible called "Play with your Cocktail", or come up with horrifying scenarios where Chris Hansen gives away his progeny to catch a predator. Or Chris Matthews. Promise. But in between that we tell you how to be the rebel at your school, how to make the dream friend you've always wanted, and what to do when you lose your child in the woods. I'll give you a hint: it involves Chris Hansen. But we call him Chris Matthews.  

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WikiHows:

How to Be Known As a Rebel in Your School

http://www.wikihow.com/Be-Known-As-a-Rebel-in-Your-School

How to Make a Dream Best Friend

http://www.wikihow.com/Make-a-Dream-Best-Friend

How to React if Your Child is Lost in the Woods

http://www.wikihow.com/React-if-Your-Child-Is-Lost-in-the-Woods

Movie Game:  300 Clerks

Stitcher Link?: Gotcha

iTunes Link?  Yep

Need Our RSS feed? Here it is. Hack the planet. 

DDIY Episode 12 - Locally Foraged Cats

Gather around, children, for our most storied episode. If you were ever curious about how Mike feels about clowns, or how Zac feels about dipping sauces in goth clubs, or how dumb Clay was when he was 13, then this is the one for you. We try to get our friends to dress like us by releasing moths in their home, we turn to hipsters to see how to live without a computer, and finally we try to tackle our clown and mime fears. Also, we talk about John Claude Van Damme a lot. 

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WikiHows:

How to Make Your Best Friend Look Like You

http://www.wikihow.com/Make-Your-Best-Friend-Look-Like-You

How to Live Without a Computer

http://www.wikihow.com/Live-Without-a-Computer

How to Overcome Your Fear of Clowns

http://www.wikihow.com/Overcome-Your-Fear-of-Clowns

Movie Game:  The Man in the Iron Man Mask

Stitcher Link?: Gotcha

iTunes Link?  Yep

Need Our RSS feed? Here it is. Our social security numbers are also available upon request. 

DDIY Episode 11 - ¿Cómo se dice 'Mountain Closet'?

Hola oyentes y bienvenidos a hacerlo no lo hace usted mismo! ¿Cómo se dice armario montaña? Oh, I'm sorry! I Meant: Hello listeners and welcome to Don't Do It Yourself! This week Zac forgets words and is relentlessly made fun of. We cover some sweet topics like making the coolest band name ever, like... Mountain Closet, or "CLAY AND MIKE ARE DUMB". Then we forge forward into how to use aluminum foil and how to foil your plans to be a forever-cosplayer. So come on.. Don't Do It Yourself!

-Zac

DIRECT LINK 

WikHows:

How to Quit Cosplay

http://www.wikihow.com/Quit-Cosplay

How to Find an Interesting Name for Your Band

http://www.wikihow.com/Find-an-Interesting-Name-for-Your-Band

How to Use Aluminum Foil

http://www.wikihow.com/Use-Aluminum-Foil

Movie Game: Skipped this week!

Stitcher Link?: Gotcha

iTunes Link?  Yep

Need Our RSS feed? Here it is. Our social security numbers are also available upon request.